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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836657">Just Keep Breathing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alitomy/pseuds/Alitomy'>Alitomy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Booker | Sebastien le Livre &amp; Nile Freeman Friendship, Booker | Sebastien le Livre Whump, Family Feels, Gen, Nile has the braincell in the team, OT6, Panic Attacks, Tumblr Ask Box Fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:16:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alitomy/pseuds/Alitomy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Booker doesn't know what's happening to him as Nile tries to calm him down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Keep Breathing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>PSA: author doesn't know a whole lot about panic attacks so they just read from google and went with it, sorry if anythings wrong!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The job hadn’t gone well. </p>
<p>Andy and Joe died multiple times. Nicky had two limbs blown off. Quynh, Booker and Nile sustained rather minor injuries in comparison, but they still hurt like a bitch. </p>
<p>The car ride back to the safehouse was silent, enough so that they could all hear Booker’s breathing get slightly more shallow and erratic, and Nile placed her hand on his arm to calm him down. </p>
<p>“Are you alright?” She whispered to him. </p>
<p>He only nodded in response. </p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Booker couldn’t sleep. </p>
<p>He thought that maybe it was just phantom insomnia from all those years of avoiding sleep to avoid the dreams, but they had stopped years ago. Sitting at the kitchen table he brought his tea to his lips and noticed his shaky hands, nearly spilling the tea down his front. He frowned and placed the mug down on the table, the <em>thud</em> sounding loud. <em>Too loud</em>. It was then he realised he had a pounding headache, and the world around him went blurry as his eyes teared up and went out of focus unconsciously. </p>
<p>Booker didn’t know what was happening to him. His whole body was failing him for the first time in two hundred years, and yet a small part of him was still hoping this would be the final time. </p>
<p>His chest began to cause him pain as he tried to suck in enough oxygen with each shallow breath he took. He clutched his chest and tried to stand up, thinking some fresh air would help stop this horrible feeling, but he only succeeded in knocking over the chair as he stumbled backwards, falling to the floor. </p>
<p>Booker groaned softly as he tried to sit up, the heaviness in his chest weighing him down. He knew the others would find him soon, he had made too much noise when he fell. </p>
<p>That only made the pain in his chest worse. </p>
<p>The thumping in his ears made him unaware that the others had rushed into the kitchen, confused at the sight of Booker on the floor. They lowered their weapons as Nile rushed over to him, kneeling by his side. </p>
<p>“Booker? Booker, can you hear me?” She asked, waving a hand in front of the man’s unfocussed eyes. Cursing to herself when she received no response she manhandled him into a sitting position, leaning him against the counter. </p>
<p>“Nile, what’s happening?” Andy asked, brows furrowed. </p>
<p>“Panic attack I’m pretty sure,” the youngest immortal responded as she removed Booker’s many layers of clothing. “Get me some water. Joe, do you have any soft feathers or something?” </p>
<p>“Um, yes, but they’re uh, on handcuffs,” Joe blushed slightly and rubbed at the back of his neck, glancing at Nicky. </p>
<p>“Ugh, just go get them. Book’s not responding to anything visual or auditory, so we need to ground him through touch,” Nile responded and took the water bottle off Andy as she returned from the fridge. Cracking open the bottle, she wet the tea towel that was hanging over the oven handle and placed it around Booker’s neck before pouring the water over his hands slowly, continuing the movements until she saw Booker’s eyes refocus. “Hey, Booker. Can you hear me?” </p>
<p>Booker was still shaking and his eyes felt heavy, but he slowly moved them to look at Nile, nodding once. He felt the cool water running down his shaky hands and he clenched them to try and get them to stop, only to have Nicky unclench them and hold them gently, rubbing his thumbs along the topside. </p>
<p>“Breathe, nice and slow, okay?” Nicky smiled softly as the Frenchman tried to take in a large breath, his hands slightly less shaky now than they were before.</p>
<p>“Booker, I need you to tell me five things you can see, okay?” Nile said as she used up the last of the water on Booker’s hands. </p>
<p>“I-” Booker coughed and looked in the direction of where Andy, Quynh and Joe were standing, worry laced across all their faces,<em>and why does Joe have pink feathery handcuffs?</em> “You five.” </p>
<p>Nile pursed her lips but nodded. “Okay, now four things you can feel?” </p>
<p>“Counter, the- the floor, cold towel,” Booker shuddered, the towel becoming cooler against his skin as he became aware of it. “Nicky.” </p>
<p>“Good, good job,” Nile smiled and ran a hand through Booker’s sweaty hair, pushing it away from his eyes. “Three things you can hear?” </p>
<p>“My own heartbeat,” he whispered and went quiet. </p>
<p>“Okay, two more things,” Nile prodded. “You can do it.” </p>
<p>“Birds,” Booker said, confused. <em>When did it become daylight?</em> “Uh, your voice.” </p>
<p>Nile nodded. The Frenchman was considerably less shaky now, and his breathing had become stable. “Two things you can smell?” </p>
<p>Booker focused on his breathing for a second, and that was exactly what Nile wanted him to do. </p>
<p>“I don’t smell anything,” Booker admitted, looking at Nile then at the ground. “Why are you asking this of me?” </p>
<p>Nile smiled and removed the wet towel from the back of his neck and used it to wipe the sweat off his face. “It’s a grounding technique to help people who are having a panic attack. How are you feeling?” </p>
<p>“Horr-ible,” Booker’s voice cracked as he responded. “Embarrassed.” </p>
<p>“Don’t be embarrassed,” Nicky shook his head. “You’re suffering shouldn’t cause you embarrassment.” </p>
<p>An opened water bottle was shoved in Booker’s face and he let go of one of Nicky’s hands to take it from Andy, who crouched down beside him with a soft smile. “Drink up, I’m not about to lose you just yet.” </p>
<p>Booker took small sips of the bottle and smiled in thanks, his heartbeat still pounding in his ears as the rest of his body relaxed. He didn’t know what caused this little meltdown of his, and it was something he would have to research later. </p>
<p>“C’mon, you need a shower and then a nap. Joe can cook breakfast,” Nicky said as he pulled Booker to his feet, ignoring the protesting cries of his lover as he led Booker towards the bathroom. “Don’t worry about using all the hot water, though Nile says cold water will be best after what you’ve just been through.” </p>
<p>“Grazie, Nicky,” Booker mumbled and walked in, leaving the door unlocked in case another one of those panic attacks occurred. </p>
<p>Not that it would stop the team from busting down the door anyway. </p>
<p>~ </p>
<p>Clean and wrapped in his softest clothes, Booker headed straight to his bedroom after his shower. His feet trudged along the wooden floors as he passed the common areas, hoping to make it a clean run to his bed but alas, his family had other ideas. </p>
<p>Quynh stepped in front of him before he could even reach his bedroom, her arms crossed over her chest. She nodded towards the kitchen table, and Booker wasn’t about to refuse Quynh anything as he feared for his life so he reluctantly made his way to the table, dropping his head on the wood as soon as he sat down. </p>
<p>“C’mon Booker, eat quickly then you can sleep,” Joe said as he placed a plate down next to the Frenchman’s head, poking his side as he walked away which jolted Booker into sitting upright. Booker thought about ditching the meal and going straight to sleep, but he knew they wouldn’t let him do that, so he ate the omelette as quickly as he could before finally making his way to his bedroom. </p>
<p>Faceplanting on the mattress never felt so good to Booker as he pulled the covers over his tired frame. He barely registered the bed sinking around him as his family joined and cuddled up around him as he fell into unconsciousness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so i read that blurred vision isnt really a symptom of a panic attack but something similar happened to me, i was on the train to uni and i could NOT refocus my eyes and i was sweating buckets even though it was like 9 degrees C outside... anyway i went back home and slept for an extra 6 hours so i just put it down to sleep deprivation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p>
<p>anyways thats a little tmi about me, hope you enjoyed the fic!</p>
<p>follow me on tumblr: alit0my</p></blockquote></div></div>
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